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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> With Mother’s Day right around the corner, many grateful and loving families are thinking about what to give mum to show their appreciation. Should you give her chocolate? Nope. Fancy soaps? Nope. Fuzzy slippers, pyjamas, scented candles? No, no and no. On this Mother’s Day, keep your cash and give your wonderful mother gifts that will actually have a long-term impact on her health and well-being. <h2>1. Do a chore that mum hates and hold onto it … forever</h2> Research <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13545701.2020.1831039">shows</a> men have increased the amount of time spent on housework and childcare and that mothers, over time, are doing less (hooray!). But, women <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">still do more housework</a> than men, especially when <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497?fbclid=IwAR2dp04p2sFqbDqdehXmXgDSfTYwX3GRzP7ScMJhSOrMePTGQVErR2TTX88">kids are in the home</a>. Further, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205285212">men tend to pick up the more desirable tasks</a>, like <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598304">cooking and playing with the kids</a>, leaving mothers to do the less pleasurable chores (think cleaning toilets and clearing out fridges). The chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal, but some critique suggests equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>. This year give your mum (or mums) the gift of equal housework and childcare sharing – start by taking the most-hated tasks and then hold onto them… forever. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">Research</a> shows housework inequality is bad for women’s mental health. Undervaluing women’s housework and unequal sharing of the chores deteriorates <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01282-5">relationship quality</a>, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664">leads to divorce</a>. Housework and childcare take up valuable time to keep the family happy, harmonious and thriving, often at the expense of mum’s health and well-being. So, skip the chocolates and show mum love by doing the worst, most drudgerous and constant household chores (hello, cleaning mouldy showers!) and keep doing these… forever. <h2>2. Initiate a mental unload</h2> The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">mental load</a> is all of the planning, organising and management work necessary to keep the family running. The mental load is often perceived as list making or allocating tasks to family members. But, it’s so much more – it is the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">emotional work</a> that goes with this thinking work. The mental load is the worry work that never ends and can be done <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">anywhere, anytime and with anyone</a> (in, for example, said mouldy shower). Because the mental load is performed inside our heads, it is invisible. That means we don’t know when we or others are performing this labour unless we really tune in. In fact, it is often when we tune in through quiet time, relaxation or meditation that the mental load rears its ugly head. Suddenly you remind yourself to buy oranges for the weekend soccer game, organise a family movie night and don’t forget to check in on nanna. Women in heterosexual relationships are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122419859007">shown to do more</a> of the mental load with serious consequences for their mental health. But we don’t have a comprehensive measurement of how much women do it nor how it is allocated in same-sex couples. So, on this mothers’ day spend some time talking about, cataloguing, and equalising the family’s mental load. This isn’t just making a list about what has to be done but also understanding <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">how the mental load</a> connects to the emotional health of the family, and the person carrying this <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/making-the-mental-load-visible/">invisible labour, worry and stress</a>. <h2>3. Speak up for your mum and all caregivers</h2> Families alone cannot bear the brunt of the caregiving necessary to keep us thriving. Governments, workplaces and local communities also play a critical role. For this mothers’ day, pick an issue impacting mothers (for example, equal pay, affordable childcare or paid family leave) and do one thing to help move the needle. Write a letter to your boss, your local MP, or donate money to an advocacy organisation advancing gender equality. Or, role model these behaviours yourself – normalise caregiving as a critical piece of being an effective worker, create policies and practices that support junior staff to care for themselves, their families and their communities and use these policies. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243216649946">Research</a> shows men want to be equal carers and sharers but often fear what taking time off for caregiving will signal to their employer despite evidence that fathers who request flexible work are perceived more <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/94/4/1567/2461609?login=false">favourably</a>. Appearing to be singularly devoted to work was shown to be impossible during the pandemic with kids, spouses, partners, and pets home all day long. Learning to create more care-inclusive workplaces and communities is critical. Paid parental leave, affordable and accessible high-quality childcare, flexibility in how, when and where we work and greater investments in paid sick leave, long-term disability support and aged care are just a few policies that would strengthen the care safety net. We will all be called upon to care at some point in our lives – let’s create the environments that support caregiving for all, not just mum.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182330/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Professor of Sociology and Founding Director of The Future of Work Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

Give the gift of sustainable luxury this Mother’s Day

With Mother’s Day around the corner, it’s time to celebrate the most important women in our lives with affordable luxury that doesn’t cost the earth. To spoil the mums in your life this year, discover the ideal gift to honour and celebrate your most treasured moments together with L’Occitane’s limited edition Mother’s Day collections. You can feel good about gifting these organic and sustainably sourced products to your loved ones, as L’Occitane have created these little luxuries while respecting and caring for everything the ground grows for us and beyond. By sourcing fair-trade and organic shea butter from women’s collectives in Burkina Faso and recently in Ghana, L’Occitane are dedicated to helping the local ecosystem and supporting the community. The L’Occitane group celebrates the official B Corp certification, demonstrating that as a business, they’re not just about beauty; they believe in Cultivating Change to create a fairer, more equitable and regenerative planet. This Mother’s Day, L’Occitane has something for everyone, with gift packs available for every budget, ranging from just $34 to the ultimate gift set priced at $280. From hand creams, body lotions and washes, to fragrances and luxury skin care, these limited edition gifting packs have exactly what you need to give the gift of indulgence this Mother’s Day. L’Occitane presents a superb range that embodies the essence of gratitude, showing appreciation through thoughtfully selected gifts that not only pamper, but also reflect a commitment to sustainable practices. It’s more than a gift; it’s a gesture that acknowledges the importance of those who have shaped our lives. L’Occitane’s Mother’s Day collection is available now both <a href="https://au.loccitane.com/mothers-day.html">online</a> and in-store. Image credits: Supplied / Getty Images

Beauty & Style

"First day of school": Charles Spencer shares unseen snap of Diana

Charles Spencer has shared a previously unseen photo from his school days with his late sister Princess Diana. The sweet photo shows a young Charles and Diana in their school uniforms standing side by side on what was their first day of primary school in 1968. Earl Spencer, 59, captioned the photo, "My first day of school, in September 1968: my father took this photograph of me and my sister, Diana, just before he drove us to Silfield, a really lovely primary school in King's Lynn, Norfolk." "The headmistress was Miss Jean Lowe, a warm and thoughtful lady who loved her boys and girls." "I was there till 1972, when I headed off to the place I call - in my memoir - A Very Private School." <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C5TfsiIoQL8/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C5TfsiIoQL8/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Charles Spencer (@charles.earl.spencer)</a> </div> </blockquote> Three years after the photo was taken, Charles was separated from his sister to attend a boarding school, Maidwell Hall Prep School. Throughout the Spencer children's schooling life, Diana was always "very protective" over her brother and "just wouldn't settle" in class until she knew he was okay. Charles told <a title="HELLO!" href="https://www.hellomagazine.com/royalty/516378/charles-spencer-shares-poignant-childhood-anecdote-princess-diana/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">HELLO!</a> that he and Diana had a unique bond when they were growing up. "My mother [Frances] left home when we were young – I was two or three, and Diana would have been five or six – so we were very much in it together," he said. Diana soon fell into a caretaker role, and would look after her brother after their mother left. "Diana looked after me because she was nearly three years older than me," Charles Spencer said. "She said that the worst part was hearing me cry down the hall because she was terrified of the dark and couldn't come to me." Image credits: Instagram

Family & Pets

Days are getting shorter and colder. 6 tips for sticking to your fitness goal

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/juliana-s-oliveira-709434">Juliana S. Oliveira</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anne-tiedemann-409380">Anne Tiedemann</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cathie-sherrington-561141">Cathie Sherrington</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leanne-hassett-1497197">Leanne Hassett</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Daylight saving ends this weekend. The days are shorter and getting colder. It’s less appealing to cycle to work, walk after dinner, or wake up early to hit the gym. But we all know daily physical activity is essential for our health and wellbeing. Physical activity releases feel-good neurotransmitters in our brains, which help to alleviate <a href="https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/57/18/1203">stress, anxiety, and depression</a>. It also helps <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/chronicdisease/resources/infographic/physical-activity.htm#:%7E:text=Regular%20physical%20activity%20helps%20improve,depression%20and%20anxiety%2C%20and%20dementia.">prevent diseases</a> such as diabetes, heart disease and some cancers. Regular physical activity can prolong life and improve overall quality of life. However, many of us find it difficult to achieve the <a href="https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/54/24/1451">recommended 150 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity</a> each week. In fact, three out of ten Australians and half of Australians aged 65 and over are <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/physical-activity/physical-activity">inactive</a>. So, what can you do to stay motivated and keep moving regularly through the darker months? Here are some tips. <h2>1. Nail those goals</h2> Goals can provide us with a sense of purpose, meaning and direction. But just aiming to “get fit” is less likely to cut it than goals that are SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound. Specific goals are based on an observable behaviour or activity, such as step count, yoga, or competing in an event. Measurable goals can be tracked, so you can easily tell whether you have ticked them off. Achievable goals are realistic and based on your current fitness and abilities. But they can and should still be challenging. If you’ve only ever run 5 kilometres, it won’t be realistic to aim for a half marathon in the next month. But you could aim for 10 kilometres. Relevant goals hold personal meaning for you. Articulating why it’s important will help motivate you to do it. Time-bound goals include a target date for achieving them. You can always revisit your deadline if you’re ahead of schedule or if it’s too unrealistic. An example of a SMART goal could be: “I will walk 10,000 steps every weekday within a month.” Then you can break it down into short-term goals to make it more achievable. If you currently walk 6,000 steps each day, you can increase steps by 1,000 every week to reach 10,000 by the end of the month. <h2>2. Keep track</h2> More than <a href="https://www.deloitte.com/au/en/Industries/tmt/blogs/digital-consumer-trends-who-is-purchasing-what-now.html">90% of Australians own a smartphone</a> and more than <a href="https://www.deloitte.com/au/en/Industries/telecom-media-entertainment/blogs/digital-consumer-trends-touch-less-healthier-wiser.html">two in ten own a fitness tracker or a smartwatch</a>. These devices can help you track your goals and activity, keep you accountable and increase your motivation. A 2021 systematic review suggests fitness trackers and smartphone apps <a href="https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/55/8/422">can assist people</a> to increase their step count by up to 2,000 steps per day. <a href="https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/54/20/1188">Our research</a> demonstrated fitness trackers can also be helpful in increasing physical activity among older people. If you don’t have a fitness tracker, you can buy low-cost pedometers or track your activity times using paper and pen. <h2>3. Plan for success but prepare for barriers</h2> Take some time to think about the potential barriers that could prevent you from being active and plan solutions to overcome them. For example, if the cost of physical activity is too high for you, try to find options that are free, such as walking or running. You can also consider free online programs or streaming videos. If you find it difficult to fit exercise into your busy schedule, try exercising early in the morning before you start your day and laying out your workout clothes the night before. You could consider joining a gym with flexible timetables. A good strategy is to try to fit physical activity into your daily routine, such as walking or cycling to work. If you are living with a chronic health condition or disability, consider seeking guidance from a health professional such as an <a href="https://www.essa.org.au/Public/SearchAEP.aspx?WebsiteKey=44cfee74-3fc3-444e-bb5f-77729c390872">exercise physiologist</a> or <a href="https://choose.physio/find-a-physio">physiotherapist</a>. Start slow and gradually increase your activity and find something you enjoy so you are more likely to keep doing it. <h2>4. Team up with a workout friend</h2> Physical activity can be more fun when you do it with someone else. Studies show <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0167494322002953?via%253Dihub&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1712015093947627&usg=AOvVaw1XGQBMDMFspL5YrQtKo3h">working out with friends can be more motivating and enjoyable</a>. It can also help with accountability, as some people are more likely to show up when they have a workout partner. So, <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(13)60407-9/fulltext">find a friend</a> who supports your goal of being more active or maintaining your current activity levels. <h2>5. Plan yourself a little treat</h2> Make an appointment with yourself in your diary to exercise. Approach it as just as important as meeting a friend or colleague. One idea is to delay something you’d rather do and make it a reward for sticking to your activity appointment. If you really want to go out for coffee, do a hobby, or watch something, go for a walk first. Research shows <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41746-019-0164-3">incentives can dramatically increase physical activity levels</a>. <h2>6. Find a coach</h2> If you want more support, <a href="https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/51/19/1425">health coaching</a> might be an option. Trained professionals work one-on-one with people, sometimes via telehealth, to find out what’s reducing their motivation to make healthier choices, such as exercise. Then they employ behaviour change techniques to help them meet their health goals. Our recent research suggests health coaching can improve physical activity in <a href="https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/58/7/382">older people</a> and those with <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S183695532400002X">chronic pain</a>. In <a href="https://www.gethealthynsw.com.au/#:%7E:text=About%20the%20Get%20Healthy%20Service&text=Delivered%20by%20NSW%20Health%2C%20the,and%20achieve%20your%20health%20goals">New South Wales</a>, <a href="https://lifeprogram.org.au/">Victoria</a> and <a href="https://www.myhealthforlife.com.au/">Queensland</a>, these sessions are government-subsidised or free.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226619/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/juliana-s-oliveira-709434">Juliana S. Oliveira</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Physical Activity, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anne-tiedemann-409380">Anne Tiedemann</a>, Professor of Physical Activity and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cathie-sherrington-561141">Cathie Sherrington</a>, Professor, Institute for Musculoskeletal Health, School of Public Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leanne-hassett-1497197">Leanne Hassett</a>, Associate Professor in Physiotherapy, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/days-are-getting-shorter-and-colder-6-tips-for-sticking-to-your-fitness-goals-226619">original article</a>.

Body

Here’s why having chocolate can make you feel great or a bit sick – plus 4 tips for better eating

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/saman-khalesi-366871">Saman Khalesi</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> Australians are <a href="https://www.retail.org.au/media/sweet-spending-boon-predicted-for-easter-retail">predicted</a> to spend around A$1.7 billion on chocolates, hot cross buns and other special foods this Easter season. Chocolate has a long history of production and consumption. It is made from cacao beans that go through processes including fermentation, drying, roasting and grounding. What is left is a rich and fatty liquor that is pressed to remove the fat (cocoa butter) and the cacao (or “cocoa”) powder which will then be mixed with different ingredients to produce dark, milk, white and other types of chocolates. There are several health benefits and potential problems that come in these sweet chocolatey packages. <h2>The good news</h2> Cacao beans contain <a href="https://foodstruct.com/food/cocoa-bean">minerals</a> like iron, potassium, magnesium, zinc and phosphorus and some vitamins. They are also rich in beneficial chemicals called <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23150750/">polyphenols</a>. These are great antioxidants, with the potential to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5465250/">improve heart health</a>, increase <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25164923/">nitric oxide</a> (which dilates blood vessels) and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3488419/">reduce blood pressure</a>, provide food for gut microbiota and <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/12/7/1908">promote gut health</a>, boost the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5465250/">immune system</a> and reduce inflammation. However, the concentration of polyphenols in the chocolate we eat depends largely on the cocoa solid amounts used in the final product. In general terms, the darker the chocolate, the more cocoa solids, minerals and polyphenols it has. For example, dark chocolates may have around <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10942912.2011.614984">seven times more polyphenols</a> compared to white chocolates and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10942912.2011.614984">three times more polyphenols</a> compared to milk chocolates. <h2>But also some bad news</h2> Unfortunately, the <a href="https://theconversation.com/treat-or-treatment-chocolate-is-good-but-cocoa-is-better-for-your-heart-3084">health benefits of cocoa solids</a> are easily offset by the high sugar and fat content of modern-day chocolates. For example, milk and white chocolate eggs are on average 50% sugar, 40% fat (mostly saturated fats) – which means a lot of added kilojoules (calories). Also, there may be some side effects that come with ingesting chocolate. Cocoa beans include a compound called theobromine. While it has the anti-inflammatory properties responsible for some of the health benefits of chocolate, it is also a mild brain stimulant that acts in a similar way to caffeine. The mood boost it offers may also be partly responsible for how much we <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fphar.2015.00030/full?crsi=662496658&cicada_org_src=healthwebmagazine.com&cicada_org_mdm=direct">like chocolate</a>. Dark chocolate has higher theobromine compared to milk and white chocolate. But accordingly, overindulging in chocolate (and therefore theobromine) may lead to feeling restless, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3672386/">headaches</a> and nausea. <h2>What else is in your chocolate?</h2> Milk and dairy-based chocolates may also cause stomach upset, abdominal pain and bloating in people with <a href="https://dietitiansaustralia.org.au/health-advice/lactose-intolerance">lactose intolerance</a>. This happens when we don’t produce enough lactase enzymes to digest milk sugar (lactose). People with lactose intolerance can usually tolerate up to 6 grams of lactose without showing symptoms. Milk chocolate can have around <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK310258/">3 grams of lactose</a> per 40 grams (the size of a standard chocolate bar). So two chocolate bars (or the equivalent in milk chocolate eggs or bunnies) may be enough to cause symptoms. It’s worth noting that lactase enzyme activity dramatically declines as we age, with the highest activity in newborns and children. So lactose sensitivity or intolerance may not be such an issue for your kids and your symptoms may increase over time. Genetics also plays a major role in how sensitive people are to lactose. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6815241/">Allergic reactions</a> to chocolate are usually due to the added ingredients or cross-contamination with potential allergens such as nuts, milk, soy, and some sweeteners used in the production of chocolate. Symptoms can be mild (acne, rashes and stomach pain) or more severe (swelling of the throat and tongue and shortness of breath). If you or your family members have known allergic reactions, make sure you read the label before indulging – especially in a whole block or basket of the stuff. And if you or your family members do experience symptoms of an allergic reaction after eating chocolate, <a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/allergic-reactions-emergency-first-aid">seek medical attention</a> immediately. <h2>4 take home tips</h2> So, if you are like me and have a weakness for chocolate there are a few things you can do to make the experience a good one.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/202848/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <ol> <li>keep an eye out for the darker chocolate varieties with higher cocoa solids. You may notice a percentage on labelling, which refers to how much of its weight is from cocoa beans. In general, the higher this percentage, the lower the sugar. White chocolate has almost no cocoa solid, and mostly cocoa butter, sugar and other ingredients. Dark chocolate has 50–100% cocoa beans, and less sugar. Aim for at least 70% cocoa</li> <li>read the fine print for additives and possible cross-contamination, especially if allergies might be an issue</li> <li>the ingredients list and nutrition information panel should tell you all about the chocolate you choosing. Go for varieties with lower sugar and less saturated fat. Nuts, seeds and dried fruits are better ingredients to have in your chocolate than sugar, creme, syrup, and caramel</li> <li>finally, treat yourself – but keep the amount you have within sensible limits!</li> </ol> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/saman-khalesi-366871">Saman Khalesi</a>, Postdoctoral Fellow of the National Heart Foundation & Senior Lecturer and Discipline Lead in Nutrition, School of Health, Medical and Applied Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/heres-why-having-chocolate-can-make-you-feel-great-or-a-bit-sick-plus-4-tips-for-better-eating-202848">original article</a>.

Food & Wine

6 major benefits of doing yoga every day, from experts

<h2>Positive effects of yoga</h2> Sometimes it’s the simplest daily practice that can have the biggest impact on your health, and yoga is proof of that. Although most forms of yoga aren’t considered to be as intense as other workout regimens (think your average cycling class!), practising yoga on a daily basis has been scientifically demonstrated to help you mentally and physically. Through breath work, meditation and holding poses that increase strength and flexibility, the body and mind reap benefits from yoga that positively impact your long-term health. It’s no wonder people have been practising yoga for over 5000 years, and that the number of Australians practising yoga doubled between 2008 and 2017 to over two million, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. In order to get the full scope of what practising yoga daily can really do for your body, we spoke with several experts who have seen the ways yoga has positively benefited their students, patients… and even themselves. <a href="https://gaiam.innovations.co.nz/p/gaiam-yoga/mats?affiliate=GAIAM60" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Keen to try? You’ll need a mat. There’s a range of mats to suit every yoga level, check out these we recommend.</a> <h2>Yoga assists with mood regulation</h2> <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/03/6benefitsyoga_getty2.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Yoga teacher, Jenni Tarma, shares, “We have a wealth of research demonstrating that a regular mindfulness practice – the act of paying attention to the sensation in the body, thoughts and emotions without judgment – can reduce stress and help us to feel calmer, more productive, and generally more even-keeled in our daily lives.” After evaluating yoga history and research, one 2014 review published in Frontiers in Human Neouroscience concluded that regular yoga practice can help facilitate self-regulation (the ability to understand and manage your behaviour and reactions). Another study of adolescents between the ages of 13 and 18 found that practising yoga positively benefited emotional regulation and self-esteem. “Movement releases beneficial neurotransmitters in the brain, which helps us feel good as well as assist in mood regulation,” says yoga instructor, Evan Lawrence. “One of the things that I like about yoga specifically is that there is simultaneously a focus on physical movement and breathing.” <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/culture/23-instant-mood-boosters-you-wont-want-to-live-without" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Don’t miss these instant mood boosters you won’t want to live without.</a> <h2>Yoga builds up your core strength</h2> <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/03/6benefitsyoga_shutterstock3.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Personal trainer and yoga teacher, Gina Newton, says, “From a physical perspective, yoga is so great for increasing our core strength, which should be a non-negotiable part of every human’s workout.” Newton adds, “We all need our core – and especially women who have been pregnant or had children, our core strength is something we need to care for and nurture to hold us up.” According to Harvard Medical School, a stronger core benefits the body in multiple ways, including providing better posture, balance, stability, relief for lower back pain, and support through daily tasks like cleaning, working, and athletic activities or exercise. Wearing comfortable yoga gear will help you get the most out of your workout. <a href="https://gaiam.innovations.co.nz/p/gaiam-apparel/apparel?affiliate=GAIAM60" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Check out these yoga clothes from Gaiam.</a> <h2>Yoga reduces stress</h2> <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/03/6benefitsyoga_getty4.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> “Yoga and meditation are powerful tools for stress resilience and strengthening mental health,” says holistic healthcare practitioner and yoga instructor, Nicole Renée Matthews. “Doing yoga regularly promotes mental clarity and calmness, centres and relaxes the mind, helps to relieve stress patterns and anxiety, and boosts concentration and focus.” One 2010 study from the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine concluded that practising yoga can improve mood and decrease anxiety even more than a regular walking practice after participants finished a 12-week program. Researchers have also found that the breath-taking techniques involved with yoga can be part of what benefits decreased anxiety during practice. “Breath awareness, another key component of yoga, has been shown to reduce physiological markers of stress, especially when using techniques such as ‘belly breathing’ – breathing deeply so that the abdomen expands, rather than exclusively using a shallow chest breath – and elongating the exhalation,” says Tarma. “These techniques help to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which in turn leads to less anxiety, jitteriness, and improved sleep; all things that can improve our mental health on a day-to-day basis.” <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/conditions/mental-health/10-science-backed-ways-to-lower-your-stress-this-instant-really" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Don’t miss these science-backed ways to lower your stress this instant (really!).</a> <h2>Yoga improves brain health</h2> <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/03/6benefitsyoga_getty5.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> According to associate professor of psychiatry, Dr Gail Saltz, practising yoga “improves overall blood flow to the body, including the brain, [which is] helpful for cognition and memory.” One 2019 review published in Brain Plasticity concluded that behavioural interventions like yoga can help “mitigate age-related and neurodegenerative decline” due to the positive effects a daily practice has on different parts of the functioning brain, like the hippocampus (which plays a major role in learning and memory) and the prefrontal cortex (cognitive control functions). Staying hydrated is key to maintaining optimum brain health. <a href="https://gaiam.innovations.co.nz/p/takeya/water-bottles-actives-range?affiliate=GAIAM60" target="_blank" rel="noopener">These drink bottles can help you keep your water intake up throughout the day.</a> <h2>Yoga improves flexibility and mobility</h2> <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/03/6benefitsyoga_shutterstock6.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> “Physically, daily yoga practice allows us to engage our muscles and move through larger ranges of joint motion than we do typically moving through life,” says Lawrence. “This helps to keep us limber and flexible.” “Dedicated, daily yoga practice helps with flexibility and strength, which can help improve your posture, as well as balance,” says yoga instructor, Samantha Hoff. “On the physical side, it also helps with joint mobility since you’ll take your joints through most – or all – of their ranges of motion.” <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/12-best-yoga-poses-to-strengthen-bones" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Here are the best yoga poses to strengthen bones.</a> <h2>Yoga strengthens muscle and endurance</h2> <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/03/6benefitsyoga_getty7.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> “From a musculoskeletal perspective,” says Tarma, “yoga loads our bodies and joints in a wide variety of positions and scenarios: think longer static holds in poses that challenge our tissues’ endurance, or controlled transitions between shapes that develop strength, control and coordination. These different facets of our movement capabilities all contribute to better overall function and load-tolerance capacity. As an added bonus, because most styles of yoga are bodyweight only and move at a very moderate speed, yoga is also a generally very accessible and safe movement modality.” Yoga is the ultimate self-care activity. <a href="https://gaiam.innovations.co.nz/p/gaiam-yoga/accessories/27-73312-gaiam-performance-hold-everything-yoga-backpack-bag?affiliate=GAIAM60" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Whether you do it at a studio or in the park, this handy yoga backpack bag stores everything you need for a calm yoga workout.</a> This article, written by Kiersten Hickman, originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/culture/6-major-benefits-of-doing-yoga-every-day-from-experts" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. Images: Shutterstock | Getty

Body

King Charles delivers heartfelt message amidst cancer treatment

In times of adversity, the power of unity and compassion shines through, and this sentiment has never been more evident than in the heartfelt message delivered by King Charles amidst his cancer treatment. As news of his diagnosis spread, an outpouring of support enveloped the King from all corners of the Commonwealth. His gratitude and appreciation for this unwavering kindness were palpable as he addressed the nations in a video message, unable to personally attend the 2024 Commonwealth Day celebrations due to his health. "I have been most deeply touched by your wonderfully kind and thoughtful good wishes for my health and, in return, can only continue to serve you, to the best of my ability, throughout the Commonwealth," he said. "My belief in our shared endeavours and in the potential of our people remains as sure and strong as it has ever been. I have no doubt that we will continue to support one another across the Commonwealth as, together, we continue this vital journey." The absence of the Princess of Wales, still in recovery from surgery, served as a reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every moment with loved ones. In such moments, the strength of familial bonds and the support of a caring community become invaluable lifelines. As we celebrate the 75th anniversary of the Commonwealth, we reflect not only on its historical significance but also on its enduring relevance in today's world. The theme of "One Resilient Common Future: Transforming our Commonwealth" resonates deeply as we navigate the challenges of the modern age together. King Charles' words remind us of the interconnectedness of our shared humanity, transcending borders and differences. He likened the Commonwealth to the wiring of a house, where each nation contributes to the collective energy and strength that sustains us all: "As I have said before, the Commonwealth is like the wiring of a house, and its people, our energy and our ideas are the current that runs through those wires. Together and individually we are strengthened by sharing perspectives and experiences, and by offering and borrowing the myriad ways we have each tackled the challenges of our time. This is true both at the level of nations and, indeed, at the local level. We recognise today that our diversity is our greatest strength." In facing global challenges such as climate change, biodiversity loss and socioeconomic shifts, the importance of collaboration and cooperation cannot be overstated. King Charles eloquently underscored the power of diversity as our greatest strength, recognising that it is through our varied perspectives and experiences that we find innovative solutions to complex problems. <iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lR6Z8ss_AW0?si=Gf8lGHmG-xnw9zCP" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe> Image: Youtube

Caring

How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> “I have to be hard on myself,” Sarah told me in a recent telehealth psychology session. “I would never reach my potential if I was kind and let myself off the hook.” I could empathise with this fear of self-compassion from clients such as Sarah (not her real name). From a young age, we are taught to be kind to others, but self-kindness is never mentioned. Instead, we are taught success hinges on self-sacrifice. And we need a healthy inner critic to bully us forward into becoming increasingly better versions of ourselves. But <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">research shows</a> there doesn’t have to be a trade-off between self-compassion and success. Self-compassion can help you reach your potential, while supporting you to face the inevitable stumbles and setbacks along the way. <h2>What is self-compassion?</h2> <a href="https://self-compassion.org/">Self-compassion</a> has <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309027">three</a> key ingredients. 1. Self-kindness This involves treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend towards a good friend – via your thoughts, feelings and actions – especially during life’s difficult moments. For instance, if you find yourself fixating on a minor mistake you made at work, self-kindness might involve taking a ten-minute walk to shift focus, and reminding yourself it is OK to make mistakes sometimes, before moving on with your day. 2. Mindfulness In this context, mindfulness involves being aware of your own experience of stress or suffering, rather than repressing or avoiding your feelings, or over-identifying with them. Basically, you must see your stress with a clear (mindful) perspective before you can respond with kindness. If we avoid or are consumed by our suffering, we lose perspective. 3. Common humanity Common humanity involves recognising our own experience of suffering as something that unites us as being human. For instance, a sleep-deprived parent waking up (for the fourth time) to feed their newborn might choose to think about all the other parents around the world doing exactly the same thing – as opposed to feeling isolated and alone. <h2>It’s not about day spas, or booking a manicure</h2> When Sarah voiced her fear that self-compassion would prevent her success, I explained self-compassion is distinct from self-indulgence. “So is self-compassion just about booking in more mani/pedis?” Sarah asked. Not really, I explained. A one-off trip to a day spa is unlikely to transform your mental health. Instead, self-compassion is a flexible <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">psychological resilience factor</a> that shapes our thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s associated with a suite of benefits to our <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">wellbeing</a>, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548">relationships</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17437199.2019.1705872">health</a>. <h2>What does the science say?</h2> Over the past 20 years, we’ve learned self-compassionate people enjoy a wide range of benefits. They tend to be <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">happier</a> and have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003">fewer psychological symptoms</a> of distress. Those high on self-compassion <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">persevere</a> following a failure. They say they are more motivated to overcome a personal weakness than those low on self-compassion, who are more likely to give up. So rather than feeling trapped by your inadequacies, self-compassion encourages a <a href="https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion">growth mindset</a>, helping you reach your potential. However, self-compassion is not a panacea. It will not change your life circumstances or somehow make life “easy”. It is based on the premise that life is hard, and provides practical tools to cope. <h2>It’s a factor in healthy ageing</h2> I research menopause and healthy ageing and am especially interested in the value of self-compassion through menopause and in the second half of life. Because self-compassion becomes important during life’s challenges, it can help people navigate physical symptoms (for instance, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378512214001649?via%3Dihub">menopausal hot flushes</a>), life transitions such as <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797611429466">divorce</a>, and <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">promote healthy ageing</a>. I’ve also teamed up with researchers at <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/">Autism Spectrum Australia</a> to explore self-compassion in autistic adults. We found autistic adults report significantly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05668-y">lower levels</a> of self-compassion than neurotypical adults. So we developed an online <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/blog/new-online-self-compassion-program-for-autistic-adults">self-compassion training program</a> for this at-risk population. <h2>Three tips for self-compassion</h2> You <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.21923">can learn</a> self-compassion with these three exercises. 1. What would you say to a friend? Think back to the last time you made a mistake. What did you say to yourself? If you notice you’re treating yourself more like an enemy than a friend, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, try to think about what you might tell a friend, and direct that same friendly language towards yourself. 2. Harness the power of touch Soothing human touch <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.555058/full">activates</a> the parasympathetic “relaxation” branch of our nervous system and counteracts the fight or flight response. Specifically, self-soothing touch (for instance, by placing both hands on your heart, stroking your forearm or giving yourself a hug) <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666497621000655">reduces</a> cortisol responses to psychosocial stress. 3. What do I need right now? Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out exactly what self-compassion looks like in a given moment. The question “what do I need right now” helps clarify your true needs. For example, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, I woke up bolt awake one morning at 3am. Rather than beating myself up about it, or fretting about not getting enough sleep, I gently placed my hands on my heart and took a few deep breaths. By asking myself “what do I need right now?” it became clear that listening to a gentle podcast/meditation fitted the bill (even though I wanted to addictively scroll my phone).<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-be-kind-to-yourself-without-going-to-a-day-spa-223194">original article</a>.

Caring

Young musician dies weeks after writing final song

Cat Janice has died aged 31 with her family by her side. The young musician, who had a large following on TikTok, had been battling cancer since January 2022 when doctors diagnosed her with sarcoma, a rare malignant tumour. She was declared cancer-free on July 22 that same year, following extensive surgery, chemo and radiation therapy. The mum-of-one was sadly re-diagnosed with cancer in June last year and despite fighting hard in the second round of her treatments, Janice told fans in January that her cancer "won" and that she "fought hard but sarcomas are too tough". Janice's family have announced her passing in a statement shared to her Instagram. "From her childhood home and surrounded by her loving family, Catherine peacefully entered the light and love of her heavenly creator," they said. "We are eternally thankful for the outpouring of love that Catherine and our family have received over the past few months." Before she died, Janice publicly announced that all her music would be signed over to her 7-year-old son, Loren, to support him in the future. Just weeks before her death, she released her final song Dance You Outta My Head in the hope it would spread "joy and fun". "My last joy would be if you pre saved my song 'Dance You Outta My Head' and streamed it because all proceeds go straight to my 7-year-old boy I'm leaving behind," she said, before the song was released. The song went viral, and took he number one spot in several countries and the number five spot on the Apple Itunes globally. Her family have said that the love she received for her final song, was unbelievable parting gift she could have ever received. "Cat saw her music go places she never expected and rests in the peace of knowing that she will continue to provide for her son through her music. This would not have been possible without all of you." Images: Instagram

Caring

Bride sparks feud for banning her niece from her big day

A bride-to-be has sparked a feud for deciding to ban her sister’s “loud and distracting” toddler from her wedding ceremony, with the bride asking social media users for advice. The bride was only weeks away from her intimate destination wedding, which included a guest list of only a few friends and close family. After being met with a difficult decision, the bride took to Reddit to share how a massive family feud had erupted in the weeks before the big day. “My sister is bringing her one-year-old toddler. The child is more than welcome — she’s part of the family and we want her there as part of the day,” she began. “However, as she’s still very young (and very loud at times), I’ve asked that somebody takes her out during the ceremony if she’s being distracting, shouting and babbling loudly.” “I know that this will probably happen as she’s constantly chatting loudly and is never quiet.” “But it’s only for half an hour and she can be as loud as she likes for the rest of the day.” “I just want everybody to be able to focus on the ceremony and I don’t want the distraction.” The bride said she was worried about sounding selfish, but then admitted that she was allowed to be selfish on her big day, and wanted all eyes on her and the groom. “We want everyone to be able to enjoy them and, to be honest, we want the guests’ attention focused on us,” she said. However, after the bride told her sister of the plans, things didn’t go down well. “My sister has told me I’m being an a****** for ‘excluding’ my niece from the ceremony and therefore by default ‘excluding’ my brother-in-law who will be the one to take her out,” the bride said. “She says that I’m asking him and the one-year-old to go all that way just for the evening meal as they will miss the ceremony and that the toddler will most likely miss that too as it will be after bedtime.” “I’ve told her that there’s a whole afternoon of relaxing things going on — photos, cake, a little walk outside and late lunch that they will be part of but apparently she’s still really annoyed with me.” The bride says her sister is now “threatening” to attend the wedding alone, leaving her partner and their daughter at home. “We’ve called her bluff and said if that’s what she wants to do then we understand,” she said. “To be honest, she’s p***ing us off so much that we’d be fine with all three of them not coming at this point.” “I don’t think that I’m asking anything unreasonable.” “All I want is a peaceful, relaxed ceremony where we can all focus on what’s going on without a toddler babbling away. “Also, to be honest, even if this WAS an unreasonable ask, surely as it’s my wedding day then it’s up to me? Isn’t it the one day of my life when I can do literally anything I want?” The post was quickly met with hundreds of comments, with most people flocking to the bride’s defence. One person wrote, “This is basic event etiquette, but it seems like sis cannot be relied on to follow basic etiquette - or even asked to do so without herself acting like a toddler.” Another suggested: “Removing a disruptive baby from a formal event would be normal etiquette, but if you specifically had to ask in advance, I’ll guess she’s got a history of not doing so.” “Your wedding, your rules. You could have gone completely child-free, all you asked was for the common courtesy of taking her outside if she got noisy.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

Is Valentine’s Day worth the romantic investment? Here’s what we can learn from economics

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/selma-wather-1510222">Selma Wather</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a> Expressing affection can be expensive. Spending on heart-shaped gifts, romantic cards, chocolates and flowers (other gifts are available) to celebrate Valentine’s Day has reached <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/510981/valentines-day-total-spending-great-britain/#:%7E:text=In%20the%20United%20Kingdom%20%28UK%29%20alone%2C%20Valentine%E2%80%99s%20Day,increased%20by%20just%20over%20300%20million%20British%20pounds.">close to £1 billion</a> in the UK. So the value of Valentine’s to retailers seems clear enough. But just how valuable is the annual ritual to consumers? What return can you expect for the money you invest in that bouquet of roses or candle lit meal? Broadly speaking, and depending on your relationship status, buying into Valentine’s Day traditions suggests two possible scenarios. You might be sending a card or gift to a potential partner to inform them of your interest; or you might be giving something to your current partner to remind them of your continuing love. Research suggests that both options have intrinsic economic value. For those seeking to express interest, sending a card is like dipping your toe into what economists might refer to as the “marriage market” – the search for someone you like, who likes what you have to offer in return. This search can happen smoothly, with plenty of information about your potential match, or it can be paved with obstacles, where you may not know much about who is available, and <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1703310">learning about potential partners</a> takes time. So suppose you are searching for a partner, and comprehensive information about potential matches is not freely available. What do you do? One option might be to put all your hopes into meeting someone on your daily journey to work. You pray that one day, just like in the movies, you will simply bump into “the one”. A second option might be to focus your search on single work colleagues, or people you know socially, and send Valentine’s Day cards to those you are attracted to. The option with the highest chance of success is the second one. You are using reliable information – knowledge of who is single. And sending a card to them can provide them with important information about you – that you’re also single, and that you’re interested. This is why research suggests that sending a Valentine’s Day card can be a <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2938374?origin=crossref">logical investment</a> of time and money. <h2>‘Match quality’</h2> Fast forward five years or so and imagine you are happily married to the recipient of one of those cards. Is it worth repeating the gesture now that you’re settled down together? Economists think of marriages or partnerships as having an inherent “<a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1468-2354.2006.00385.x">match quality</a>”, which reflects how good (or bad) your relationship is – and the likelihood of you breaking up. If match quality falls below the level of happiness you might expect to have if you were to leave, a <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2759255">separation may well follow</a>. But many studies also show that <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2535409">match quality is malleable</a> – that it can change, for better and indeed for worse, over time. You can invest in trying to improve match quality in various ways. It might be starting a family, sharing hobbies and interests, or gestures such as cooking a special meal or exchanging gifts on the 14th day of February. Improving your match quality <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228431914_How_Does_the_Change_of_Marriage_Quality_Affect_Divorce_Decisions">directly reduces the probability</a> of a separation. Then there’s the question of commitment – the willingness to stay in a relationship rather than walking away. And again, gestures can make a difference. Imagine you have just started a new job, and your employer asks you to complete an intensive training session in your free time, for a skill that would only be useful for that particular role. If you expect to hold the job for a long period, you might happily invest your time. But if your employer is struggling financially and redundancy is on the cards, you are much less likely to agree to perform the task. Relationships work in a similar way. People are more prepared to invest in things like having children or buying a house together if they expect the relationship to last. Given that commitment is not guaranteed by a marriage certificate, people <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=950688">need to find other ways</a> to signal their continued devotion. Celebrating Valentine’s Day is one way of making such a signal. It can show faith in your shared commitment, signify that you wish to continue investing in the relationship and improve match quality, further stabilising the partnership. So even if deep down you think that Valentine’s Day has become over commercialised and meaningless, research suggests it makes good economic sense to send that card.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223128/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/selma-wather-1510222">Selma Wather</a>, Senior Lecturer in Economics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-valentines-day-worth-the-romantic-investment-heres-what-we-can-learn-from-economics-223128">original article</a>.

Money & Banking

"I want answers": Simon Dorante-Day's cunning plan to prove royal connections

The Queensland man claiming to be the son of King Charles and Queen Camilla has shared his new plan to prove once and for all that he has royal family connections. Simon Dorante-Day has long claimed through his 30 years of research, he discovered that he is the illegitimate son of the monarch, and has attempted to prove his theory through various means. Now, his new plan to get his hands on royal DNA to unequivocally prove his family heritage involves another member of the royal family. Speaking with <a href="https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/aussie-man-claiming-to-be-charles-son-drops-new-prince-harry-dna-bombshell-c-13488374" target="_blank" rel="noopener">7News</a>, the 57-year-old said he and his wife have been told by a “trusted source” that Prince Harry could be amenable to helping them gather proof. “We got advice from a really good, really trusted source that we should approach Harry and make a connection there and ask for DNA,” Elvianna said. Simon added, “I was really taken aback when he said that. But it’s definitely something I’m going to do. I’ve long been a supporter of Harry and Meghan, I think it’s disgraceful the way they’ve been treated by the royal family." “The way they are treated on social media too, it’s just one big ‘Punch-Meghan-and-Harry-a-thon’, seriously. It’s really starting to annoy me." He said he is planning to "make contact with him and explore this as an opportunity," pointing out that the royal family's treatment of Harry could make him more willing to help. "At the end of the day, I feel like he just might be as keen as I am to expose what Charles and Camilla and the powers that be have done to me. The injustice." “It’s worth me pointing out that Charles and Camilla, Buckingham Palace, the entire royal family - not one of them has ever said my claims are not true. They’ve never denied what I believe, told me I’m wrong." Simon said “the wheels are in motion” in terms of making contact with Prince Harry, and that he’s hopeful of a positive outcome. “I want answers,” he said. “And I feel Prince Harry is the man to help me find them.” “And I think their silence speaks volumes.” Simon said “the wheels are in motion” in terms of making contact with Prince Harry, and that he’s hopeful of a positive outcome. “I want answers,” he said. “And I feel Prince Harry is the man to help me find them.” Image credits: Facebook / Getty Images

Family & Pets

How do I handle it if my parent is refusing aged care? 4 things to consider

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> It’s a shock when we realise our parents aren’t managing well at home. Perhaps the house and garden are looking more chaotic, and Mum or Dad are relying more on snacks than nutritious meals. Maybe their grooming or hygiene has declined markedly, they are socially isolated or not doing the things they used to enjoy. They may be losing weight, have had a fall, aren’t managing their medications correctly, and are at risk of getting scammed. You’re worried and you want them to be safe and healthy. You’ve tried to talk to them about aged care but been met with swift refusal and an indignant declaration “I don’t need help – everything is fine!” Now what? Here are four things to consider. <h2>1. Start with more help at home</h2> Getting help and support at home can help keep Mum or Dad well and comfortable without them needing to move. Consider drawing up a roster of family and friends visiting to help with shopping, cleaning and outings. You can also use home aged care services – or a combination of both. Government subsidised home care services provide from one to 13 hours of care a week. You can get more help if you are a veteran or are able to pay privately. You can take advantage of things like rehabilitation, fall risk-reduction programs, personal alarms, stove automatic switch-offs and other technology aimed at increasing safety. Call <a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/">My Aged Care</a> to discuss your options. <h2>2. Be prepared for multiple conversations</h2> Getting Mum or Dad to accept paid help can be tricky. Many families often have multiple conversations around aged care before a decision is made. Ideally, the older person feels supported rather than attacked during these conversations. Some families have a meeting, so everyone is coming together to help. In other families, certain family members or friends might be better placed to have these conversations – perhaps the daughter with the health background, or the auntie or GP who Mum trusts more to provide good advice. Mum or Dad’s main emotional support person should try to maintain their relationship. It’s OK to get someone else (like the GP, the hospital or an adult child) to play “bad cop”, while a different person (such as the older person’s spouse, or a different adult child) plays “good cop”. <h2>3. Understand the options when help at home isn’t enough</h2> If you have maximised home support and it’s not enough, or if the hospital won’t discharge Mum or Dad without extensive supports, then you may be <a href="https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/60/8/1504/5863160">considering a nursing home</a> (also known as residential aged care in Australia). Every person has a legal right to <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/9-your-right-choose-where-you-live">choose where we live</a> (unless they have lost capacity to make that decision). This means families can’t put Mum or Dad into residential aged care against their will. Every person also has the right to choose to take risks. People can choose to continue to live at home, even if it means they might not get help immediately if they fall, or eat poorly. We should respect Mum or Dad’s decisions, even if we disagree with them. Researchers call this “dignity of risk”. It’s important to understand Mum or Dad’s point of view. Listen to them. Try to figure out what they are feeling, and what they are worried might happen (which might not be rational). Try to understand what’s really important to their quality of life. Is it the dog, having privacy in their safe space, seeing grandchildren and friends, or something else? Older people are often understandably concerned about losing independence, losing control, and having strangers in their personal space. Sometimes families prioritise physical health over psychological wellbeing. But we need to consider both when considering nursing home admission. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9826495/">Research</a> suggests going into a nursing home temporarily increases loneliness, risk of depression and anxiety, and sense of losing control. Mum and Dad should be involved in the decision-making process about where they live, and when they might move. Some families start looking “just in case” as it often takes some time to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/questions-to-ask-when-choosing-an-aged-care-home-for-a-loved-one/10302590">find the right nursing home</a> and there can be a wait. After you have your top two or three choices, take Mum or Dad to visit them. If this is not possible, take pictures of the rooms, the public areas in the nursing home, the menu and the activities schedule. We should give Mum or Dad information about their options and risks so they can make informed (and hopefully better) decisions. For instance, if they visit a nursing home and the manager says they can go on outings whenever they want, this might dispel a belief they are “locked up”. Having one or two weeks “respite” in a home may let them try it out before making the big decision about staying permanently. And if they find the place unacceptable, they can try another nursing home instead. <h2>4. Understand the options if a parent has lost capacity to make decisions</h2> If Mum or Dad have lost capacity to choose where they live, family may be able to make that decision in their best interests. If it’s not clear whether a person has capacity to make a particular decision, a medical practitioner can assess for that capacity. Mum or Dad may have appointed an <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/wills/appoint-enduring-guardian/what-enduring-guardian">enduring guardian</a> to make decisions about their health and lifestyle decisions when they are not able to. An enduring guardian can make the decision that the person should live in residential aged care, if the person no longer has the capacity to make that decision themselves. If Mum or Dad didn’t appoint an enduring guardian, and have lost capacity, then a court or tribunal can <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/guardianship/information-about-guardianship">appoint</a> that person a private guardian (usually a family member, close friend or unpaid carer). If no such person is available to act as private guardian, a public official may be appointed as public guardian. <h2>Deal with your own feelings</h2> Families often feel <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-023-04538-9">guilt and grief</a> during the decision-making and transition process. Families need to act in the best interest of Mum or Dad, but also balance other caring responsibilities, financial priorities and their own wellbeing.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221210/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, Professor in Ageing and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-i-handle-it-if-my-parent-is-refusing-aged-care-4-things-to-consider-221210">original article</a>.

Brunei Prince's lavish 10 day wedding

Brunei Prince Abdul Mateen, 32, has tied the knot with Yang Mulia Anisha Roshna, 29, in a lavish 10-day royal wedding. The first few photos of the grand event were posted on Prince Mateen's Instagram, coupled with a few photos from the couple's childhood. "14.01.2024" he captioned the series of photos, with "praise be to God" written underneath the date in Arabic. The couple wed at the Istana Nurul Iman palace in front of 5,000 guests, including royals from Saudia Arabia, Jordan, Indonesia and the Philippines. Yang Mulia Anisha Roshna, looked stunning in a white gown decorated with a silver diamond motif, a floral veil and tiara. She completed the look with a statement diamond necklace and earrings, with natural glam makeup accentuating her features. Prince Mateen, who has over 2.5 million followers on Instagram, and was even crowned one of Asia's <a href="https://www.tatlerasia.com/the-scene/people-parties/asia-s-50-most-eligible-bachelors" target="_blank" rel="noopener">"most eligible bachelors"</a> was dressed in his ceremonial uniform. After the lavish ceremony, the couple took part in a procession all the way to the capital of Bandar Seri Begawan, as they greeted thousands of well-wishers who gathered for the event in an open-top Rolls Royce. The 10-day wedding ceremony based on Islamic traditions began on January 7, with the proposal ceremony where the groom's family officially declared their intention to marry the bride. The day after, family and their guests attended a performance by royal court musicians. The third day consisted of an engagement ceremony where the groom's family brought symbolic gifts to the bride's residence. This was then followed by a powdering ceremony where the bride and groom's families apply powder to the couple's hands so their marriage is blessed with happiness, fertility, and wealth. On the fifth day, the bride and groom officially exchange their vows in a religious ceremony which is followed by the royal banquet. Prince Mateen and his wife announced their engagement in October 2023, but they were rumoured to have been dating for years. The Prince is the 10th child of Brunei Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, one of the world's richest royals, and Yang Mulia Anisha Roshna is the granddaughter of one of the Sultan’s special advisors. Images: Instagram

Relationships

4 strategies to keep you from overspending this holiday season

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/johanna-peetz-1494248">Johanna Peetz</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/carleton-university-900">Carleton University</a> The urge to spend money is present all year round, but during the gift-giving season, the temptation to splurge on loved ones can be particularly strong. For many, the desire to be generous during the holidays clashes with the need to conserve funds for essential expenses. This year, money is tighter than ever, with <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/231121/dq231121a-eng.htm?indid=3665-1&indgeo=0">high prices for groceries, housing and entertainment</a> leaving shoppers with reduced funds as the holiday season descends upon us. A growing number of individuals are feeling the financial squeeze, with 40 per cent of Canadians <a href="https://www.bnnbloomberg.ca/financial-stress-is-impacting-the-mental-health-of-canadians-survey-1.1933491">citing money as their main source of stress</a>. <a href="https://newsroom.bmo.com/2023-11-08-78-Per-Cent-of-Canadians-Plan-to-Cut-Back-on-Holiday-Spending,-but-a-Third-Will-Still-Give-Back-to-Charitable-Causes-BMO-Survey">Seventy-eight per cent of Canadians</a> plan on buying fewer gifts this holiday season and 37 per cent are worried they won’t be able to afford all the items on their holiday shopping lists. Given that <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.790434">pricier gifts are not necessarily more appreciated by the person receiving the gift</a>, what are some ways shoppers can resist the temptation of appealing, yet expensive, gift options that might strain their finances? As a social psychologist who studies personal spending, I think it is worthwhile to remind ourselves of self-control strategies that can help us manage financial decisions during the holiday season. <h2>Strategies for resisting temptation</h2> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691615623">Self-control is not just suppressing temptation</a>; it also involves setting yourself up for success by creating situations that make resisting temptations easier. 1. Avoid temptations Perhaps the most obvious strategy is to avoid shopping temptations. This may include steering clear of places — both physical and online — that are out of your budget range. While this is easier said than done during gift shopping, it’s an effective way to manage temptations: People who report having an easier time with self-control <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.09.031">tend to avoid rather than resist temptations</a>. 2. Make a budget If you haven’t sat down to make a holiday budget yet, it’s never too late to make one. Considering one-quarter of Canadians are <a href="https://globalnews.ca/news/10087745/canadian-holiday-spending-debt/">still paying off last year’s holiday debts</a>, being as fiscally responsible as possible is a wise choice this year. Setting spending limits ahead of time makes your financial goals clear and explicit. When setting budgets for gifts <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucad011">people tend to spend the entirety of the estimated amount (unlike budgets for personal purchases where they try to come in under the budget)</a>. It’s good to be realistic, rather than optimistic, when setting budgets. 3. Implementation intentions Anticipate any potential shopping temptations you are likely to encounter so you can develop strategies to resist them. One effective approach is <a href="https://kops.uni-konstanz.de/server/api/core/bitstreams/14cc2a36-5f01-4dc1-b9ca-f2d0ca0c8930/content">forming intentions</a> about how you will act once you encounter a temptation. For example, you might consider what you will do when you see a gadget your friend would enjoy when you have already bought them something and have reached the limit of your budget. Instead of purchasing it and exceeding your budget, you could write down the gadget for next year’s gift. 4. Write a list Finally, thinking ahead to the gifts you plan to buy and writing a shopping list rather than relying on being inspired in the store might help with sticking to a budget. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s11747-019-00670-w">Consumers spend thousands each year on impulse purchases</a>. Writing shopping lists, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/cb.1812">even for online shopping</a>, can reduce overall spending and shopping regret. <h2>The best strategy is the one that works</h2> The holidays should be about joy, not financial stress. Maintaining self-control allows you to celebrate without compromising your financial well-being. There are of course many strategies beyond the four strategies listed here that can help create situations where resisting temptations is easier. The most effective strategies for maintaining financial self-control <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2021.104189">are the ones you are already using</a>, and the ones you find most effective. If you want to avoid giving in to shopping temptations, take a moment to think about the financial strategies you are already using and think about how you might use them in your holiday shopping. If you haven’t yet found a strategy that works for you, now is a great opportunity for you to try some out and see which ones are effective. Using strategies to manage the cost of holiday spending can prevent gift-giving from becoming a financial stressor in an already stressful time. Finally, while adhering to a budget is important, it shouldn’t be the sole or primary focus during holiday shopping. Keep in mind that the true spirit of the season is spending quality time with loved ones. The joy of the holidays doesn’t come from extravagant gifts, but from shared moments and meaningful connections.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/219380/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/johanna-peetz-1494248">Johanna Peetz</a>, Professor in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/carleton-university-900">Carleton University</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-strategies-to-keep-you-from-overspending-this-holiday-season-219380">original article</a>.

Money & Banking

"It was hard to watch": Sean Connery's final days revealed

Sean Connery's final moments have been revealed in a new book, Connery, Sean Connery, which dives into his decades-long career and the obstacles he faced in life. The Scottish actor, who rose to fame as the original James Bond, passed away on October 31, 2020, at the age of 90. The book written by Herbie J Pilato, features never-before-published commentary from Connery's friend, Brendan Lynch about the actor's final days. The Oscar winner struggled with dementia before his passing, and the book claims that Lynch was requested by Connery’s wife, Micheline Roquebrune, to visit his friend “as much as possible in his last days." In the book, Lynch recalled: “Because he wasn’t well at all, Micheline did ask me to try and see a bit more of him in the end.” “He didn’t want to have people that he didn’t know hanging around, so I would stop in to visit.” “I was crying at times to see this mountain of a man — this monumental human achievement in such a terrible state — frail (mentally and physically) unable to carry on a conversation or finish off a sentence,” Lynch said. “To see his body weak and flawed at the end… it was very sad. We tried to have a conversation. I tried to tell him what was going on in the sporting world, despite knowing that he wasn’t actually taking it all in.” Pilato told Fox News Digital that he spoke to numerous other sources and co-stars to get a better understanding of the man behind the iconic character. “Dementia is not just a mental issue. You’re affected physically in other ways… It affects everything. So it’s not just the mind. And to see someone who was so strong battling this disease — it was difficult," Pilato said. “If anybody looked like a movie star, it was Sean Connery,” he shared. “But towards the end, when he was frail, it was hard to watch. It was hard to see that.” According to the book, the actor's health was kept private “for some time" as he spent his final days surrounded by “sprawling golf courses, near wide-open silky sands and… clear blue Bahamian waters.” Connery died in his sleep, and according to his wife it was exactly "what he wanted.” “At least he died in his sleep, and it was just so peaceful,” she told The Daily Mail on Sunday. “I was with him all the time, and he just slipped away. It was what he wanted." Images: Getty

Caring

1 in 4 adults think smacking is necessary to ‘properly raise’ kids. But attitudes are changing

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/divna-haslam-893417">Divna Haslam</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a> “Do you want a smack?!” This has been a common refrain from many parents across history. Right along with “just wait till your father gets home”. Somehow parents thought this threat of violence would magically improve their child’s behaviour. The United Nations <a href="https://www.right-to-education.org/sites/right-to-education.org/files/resource-attachments/CRC_1989.pdf">Convention on the Rights of the Child</a> considers smacking and all types of physical punishment, however mild, a violation of child rights. It’s banned in <a href="https://endcorporalpunishment.org/countdown/">65 countries</a>. Yet it remains <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/resources/resource-sheets/physical-punishment-legislation#:%7E:text=Physical%20punishment%20by%20a%20parent%20towards%20a%20child%20remains%20lawful,'">legal</a> in Australia for parents to use “reasonable force” for discipline. Children are the only group of people it remains legal to hit. Our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/ajs4.301">new research</a> found one in four Australians still think physical punishment is necessary to “properly raise” children. And half of parents (across all age groups) reported smacking their children. But attitudes are slowly changing, with newer generations of parents less likely to smack their kids than previous ones. <h2>What is physical punishment?</h2> <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt1njkrb">Physical</a> or “corporal” punishment is the use of physical force to cause pain, but not injury, to discipline a child for misbehaviour. It’s distinct from physical abuse which is more extreme and not used to correct behaviour. Physical punishment is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajs4.276#:%7E:text=Corporal%20punishment%20(CP)%20is%20the,and%20Christian%20missionaries%20during%20colonisation.">the most common type</a> of violence against children. It usually involves smacking, but also includes things like pinching, slapping, or using an implement such as wooden spoon, cane or belt. Smacking doesn’t actually work and makes behaviour <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797617729816?casa_token=YHpEf1m4GiwAAAAA%3A8VRH5_z9fufHJiFGpWVYAk0kuTZCCRB-zneATDatqfLomERAhcyyIES30hMPdIIQ-E-IHOTekiC0Zg&journalCode=pssa">worse over time</a>. And it’s <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ffam0000191">associated with</a> children internalising problems, increased child aggression, poor parent-child relationships, poorer metal heath and more. In contrast, there are a lot of non-violent parenting strategies that <a href="https://theconversation.com/research-shows-its-harmful-to-smack-your-child-so-what-should-parents-do-instead-186739">do work</a>. <h2>Assessing the state of smacking in Australia</h2> We conducted the first <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/ajs4.301">study</a> to comprehensively assess the state of smacking and physical punishment in Australia. We wanted to determine if smacking was still common and how many Australians believed we need to smack our kids. We interviewed more than 8,500 Australians aged 16 to 65 years. Our sample was representative of the national population so we can be confident the findings represent the thoughts and experiences of Australians as a nation. Using such a large age range allowed us to compare people across different age groups to determine if changes are occurring. <h2>What we found</h2> Overall, six in ten (62.5%) Australians between 16–65 years had experienced four or more instances of smacking or physical punishment in childhood. Men were slightly more likely to be physically punished than women (66.3% v 59.1%). Young people, aged 16–24, reported slightly lower rates (58.4%) than older people suggesting a slight decline over time. But these rates remain unacceptably high. Overall, one in two (53.7%) Australian parents reported using some type of physical punishment, mostly about once a month. However, older parents reported on this retrospectively (what they did while raising children) and there were clear age differences: <ul> <li>64.2% of parents aged over 65 years had used physical punishment</li> <li>32.8% of parents 25–34 years had used it</li> <li>14.4% of parents under 24 had used it.</li> </ul> So younger generations of parents are substantially less likely to use physical punishment. <iframe id="3dcJw" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/3dcJw/2/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe> Concerningly, one-quarter (26.4%) of all Australians still believe physical punishment is necessary to properly raise children. But the vast majority (73.6%) do not. And generational change is occurring. Some 37.9% of Australians older than 65 believe physical punishment is necessary compared to 22.9% of those aged 35–44 years, and only 14.8% of people under age 24. <iframe id="NT51y" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/NT51y/3/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe> Socioeconomically disadvantaged people are 2.3 times more likely to believe physical punishment is necessary than those with no disadvantage. Parents who had been physically disciplined when they were children were both more likely to believe it is needed and more likely to use it with their own children. This indicates this form of violence is transmitted across generations. <h2>Time for change</h2> Law reform works best when changes in community attitudes and behaviours are already occurring. So it’s encouraging that younger people are much less likely to believe physical punishment is necessary and are much less likely to use it. This suggests Australians may be open to prohibiting this common form of violence. All states and territories should immediately enact legal reform to prohibit corporal punishment and protect the rights of Australian children. This should be paired with public health and education campaigns about what parents can do instead. If you are a parent looking for effective non-violent parenting strategies the <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/ministers/the-hon-greg-hunt-mp/media/406-million-to-support-the-mental-health-and-wellbeing-of-aussie-kids">government</a> has also made the <a href="https://www.triplep-parenting.net.au/qld-en/free-parenting-courses/triple-p-online-under-12/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAgqGrBhDtARIsAM5s0_mmMmbY3khwvp306pGOijqntKzYh6dDI5lQYszLgl6_BOGnuk8HMeEaAn_vEALw_wcB">Triple P Positive Parenting Program</a> available for free. This online program provides practical strategies parents can use to encourage positive behaviour and calm, alternative discipline techniques that can be used to instead of smacking. A number of other evidence-based programs, such as <a href="https://tuningintokids.org.au/">Tuning Into Kids</a>, Parents Under Pressure and <a href="https://www.pcit.org/pcit-in-australia.html">Parent Child Interaction Therapy</a>, are also available. Australia has an opportunity to capitalise on naturally occurring societal changes. We can interrupt this cycle of violence and give more Australians a childhood free of violence. <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218837/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/divna-haslam-893417">Divna Haslam</a>, Senior Research Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/1-in-4-adults-think-smacking-is-necessary-to-properly-raise-kids-but-attitudes-are-changing-218837">original article</a>.

Caring

"More bad days than good": Sad new pics of Bruce Willis emerge

Bruce Willis' family are "soaking up every moment" with the Hollywood legend, as his health is continuing to deteriorate. The 68-year-old's family have shared new heartbreaking photos of the actor, which show a steep decline in his appearance and capabilities since the onset of his health issues. Willis was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia at the beginning of 2023, nearly one year after announcing his retirement from acting due to aphasia, which causes difficulties with speech. Since his diagnosis, his family have continued to share updates on the actor's condition. Now, a source close to the family has revealed that the star’s health has worsened in recent weeks, and now there are “more bad days” than good. “Bruce has good days and bad days, but in the last two months, there are many more bad days than good,” a source told <a href="https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/how-bruce-willis-family-is-supporting-him-as-he-battles-dementia/">US Weekly</a>. “This experience has brought the whole family even closer together. No one knows how much time Bruce has left, so they’re soaking up every moment they get with him.” Another source added that the four-time Golden Globe winner “has around-the-clock care, but at least one family member is always with him.” The beloved Hollywood action star has been spending his days alongside his wife, Emma Heming, ex-wife Demi Moore, and their collective five children, who all care for him throughout his difficult health journey. Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram

Caring

He's back! Charles and Camilla's secret "son" drops DNA bombshell

The Australian man who has long claimed to be the secret child of King Charles and Queen Camilla has shared the details of a wild plot to extract his DNA. The 57-year-old man from Queensland revealed he was tracked down by an American woman, who claimed she was the illegitimate child of the late Prince Philip, and attempted to get a DNA sample from the man. Simon Dorante-Day has made headline around the world with his claims that he is the son of Charles and Camilla, which he says are the results of decades worth of research. “My grandmother, who had worked for the Queen, told me outright that I was Camilla and Charles’ son many times,” he said. Now, in an interview with <a href="https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/aussie-man-who-claims-to-be-charles-and-camillas-son-drops-biggest-ever-dna-bombshell-c-12788618" target="_blank" rel="noopener">7News</a>, Dorante-Day shared the story of how he was tracked down by the American woman, who knocked on his door in the early hours of the morning on December 2nd. The 57-year-old and his wife Elvianna were immediately skeptical of the woman, who said she used a private investigator to track him down. “This woman claimed that she was the secret illegitimate daughter of Prince Philip who lived in San Francisco,” Dorante-Day said. “She explained that she had travelled from the US after hiring an investigator to track me down in Queensland. The whole purpose of her visit was to ask me for a sample of my DNA." “She wanted to compare it to hers, to basically prove that we were both related to the royal family.” After humouring the woman and letting her share her evidence along with her elaborate story, Simon concluded that the whole thing was a scam, along with an illegal attempt to extract his DNA. “This woman had a lot of so-called proof to back up her claims, but the whole thing just seemed really fishy,” he said. He recalled how the woman shared her own adoption story, which resulted in her turning to the FBI for help, who allegedly handed her her original birth certificate, which listed Prince Philip as her father. “Of course my bulls*** meter is flying off the handle at this point. I know how hard it is to get any government authority to address these sorts of issues — I hardly think the Federal Bereau of Investigation would just offer up the fact that she was the daughter of the Queen’s late husband," Simon said. “It was all just wild.” The Queensland father and grandfather said it wasn’t long until the woman gave away her real reason for wanting his DNA: money. “She said that she’s already been given a large payout from the royal family after she proved she was the daughter of Prince Philip,” he said. “And she felt that if she was able to compare my DNA to her DNA, and prove we were both descendants of the royal family, then we could ask them for even more money." “Elvianna and I told her what we’ve said to everyone from day one — this isn’t about money for us, at all. This is about us finding out who my birth parents are and protecting my family. We have never wanted money.” After saying goodbye to the pair, Dorante-Day said he and his wife were left reeling. <div> “At the end of the day, this was an illegal attempt to procure my DNA,” he said. Despite the whole experience leaving Dorante-Day and his wife rattled, he said his stance on proving that he is Charles and Camilla's son has not changed. “It takes a lot of work, money and time to build a case like this, but I am confident I will get there,” he said. “I know Charles and Camilla are my parents and I’m ready to prove it.” Image credits: Supplied </div>

Family & Pets

The 4 biggest gift-giving mistakes, according to a consumer psychologist

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/julian-givi-1395671">Julian Givi</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/west-virginia-university-1375">West Virginia University</a> A good gift can elicit a surge of happiness and gratitude in the recipient. It also feels great to give, <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-point-of-holiday-gifts-173306">with psychologists finding</a> that the joy of giving a gift is more pronounced than the pleasure of receiving one. Unfortunately, there are times when you receive a gift and you have to force a smile and fake your gratitude. I’m a consumer psychologist <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=wjAq_TcAAAAJ&hl=en">who specializes in gift-giving research</a> – in particular, gift-giving mistakes. Here are four of the most common ones. <h2>1. Prioritizing the big reveal</h2> One way givers can err is by focusing too much on <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721416656937">the moment the recipient will open the gift</a>. Givers want their gift to be <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/675737">desirable</a>. They hope <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2011.03.015">to surprise</a> the recipient and <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.2733341">put a smile</a> on their face. A chocolate fondue fountain might meet these criteria – it’s quirky and sure to elicit curiosity and smiles from onlookers. However, when people receive a gift, they care less about the moment the bow comes off, and instead think about the weeks and months ahead. People want gifts that are <a href="https://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/1023703/volumes/v45/NA-45">useful</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/675737">reliable</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2011.03.015">meet their needs</a>. How often would a chocolate fondue fountain realistically be used? Compare that to a new coffee maker, which could see action every day. Sure, it isn’t a novelty – and probably won’t elicit “oohs” and “ahhs” on Christmas Day – but the recipient will be quite happy to have it on hand when their alarm rings each morning. <h2>2. Unique and new are overrated</h2> Another factor that can lead givers to go wrong involves unwritten rules for what constitutes good gift-giving practices. Givers often focus on these rules more than they should. For example, they may <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jbusres.2020.05.023">avoid giving the same gift</a> to someone in back-to-back years because this goes against the norm of giving a unique gift each year. Givers also often <a href="https://doi.org/10.1348/014466604x23428">refrain from giving used products</a> as gifts because this violates the unspoken rule that a gift should be brand new. In contrast, recipients are quite open to gifts that violate these norms. If someone loves a certain type of wine, they’re <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jbusres.2020.05.023">more than happy to receive it</a> in subsequent years. And if one digital camera is lightly used but possesses several innovative features, while another is new but has fewer features, people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1348/014466604x23428">are happy to receive the used one</a>. <h2>3. Being risk-averse</h2> Givers can make missteps when they avoid gifts that they see as too risky. Consider sentimental gifts, like a scrapbook or a nostalgic memento. Studies have shown that recipients <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcps.2017.06.002">love these gifts</a>; they <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000036">elicit happiness for extended periods of time</a>. Givers, however, tend to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcps.2017.06.002">shy away from sentimental gifts</a> because they see them risky – sure, they could be a home run, but they could also whiff. Doubts can creep into shoppers’ heads as they consider sentimental gifts: What if it comes across as sappy? What if the recipient thinks I’m being cheap? And so people tend to opt for <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S105774081730044X">safer, superficial gifts</a> that they assume will be at least somewhat well-liked. Or, to continue with the baseball analogy, givers are happy to take the sure single. As another example, consider material goods versus experiences. When giving gifts, people often opt for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucy010">tangible objects over experiences</a> because material goods are on the safer side – almost everyone could use a new appliance or a new shirt. Experiences are trickier; they require a bit more of an understanding of who the recipient truly is – not everyone loves going to see the symphony. Yet recipients tend to be <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jcpy.1281">more open to experiences than givers anticipate</a> – and these gifts <a href="https://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/1017575/volumes/v42/NA-42">are actually more likely to make people happier</a> than material goods. <h2>4. Does the thought really count?</h2> Givers can also err by wanting their gift to appear especially thoughtful. Of course, recipients appreciate thoughtfulness – but not when it comes at the expense of receiving something that’s actually useful. This plays out when givers are shopping for multiple people. They’ll often <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/674199">choose unique gifts for each recipient</a>, rather than give the same gift to everyone, because a distinct gift for each person will make them feel as though they put more time and effort into gift selection. People do this even if they realize that some recipients will be receiving less desirable gifts. You’ll also see this happen with <a href="https://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/1020146/volumes/v43/NA-43">gift cards</a>. Givers often choose specific gift cards – to a particular clothing store or restaurant, for example – that reflect the interests or tastes of the recipient. But recipients are more open to gift cards that give them more flexibility and freedom – think an Amazon or Visa gift card. That way, they can decide whether to splurge on a new sweater, dine out at their favorite restaurant – or do both.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/195169/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/julian-givi-1395671">Julian Givi</a>, Assistant Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/west-virginia-university-1375">West Virginia University</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-4-biggest-gift-giving-mistakes-according-to-a-consumer-psychologist-195169">original article</a>.

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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

Give the gift of sustainable luxury this Mother’s Day

"First day of school": Charles Spencer shares unseen snap of Diana

Days are getting shorter and colder. 6 tips for sticking to your fitness goal

Here’s why having chocolate can make you feel great or a bit sick – plus 4 tips for better eating

6 major benefits of doing yoga every day, from experts

King Charles delivers heartfelt message amidst cancer treatment

How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

Young musician dies weeks after writing final song

Bride sparks feud for banning her niece from her big day

Is Valentine’s Day worth the romantic investment? Here’s what we can learn from economics

"I want answers": Simon Dorante-Day's cunning plan to prove royal connections

How do I handle it if my parent is refusing aged care? 4 things to consider

Brunei Prince's lavish 10 day wedding

4 strategies to keep you from overspending this holiday season

"It was hard to watch": Sean Connery's final days revealed

1 in 4 adults think smacking is necessary to ‘properly raise’ kids. But attitudes are changing

"More bad days than good": Sad new pics of Bruce Willis emerge

He's back! Charles and Camilla's secret "son" drops DNA bombshell

The 4 biggest gift-giving mistakes, according to a consumer psychologist

News

Shop

Catalogues

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Entertainment

Property

Information

Keep up to date

Search

Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

Give the gift of sustainable luxury this Mother’s Day

"First day of school": Charles Spencer shares unseen snap of Diana

Days are getting shorter and colder. 6 tips for sticking to your fitness goal

Here’s why having chocolate can make you feel great or a bit sick – plus 4 tips for better eating

6 major benefits of doing yoga every day, from experts

King Charles delivers heartfelt message amidst cancer treatment

How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

Young musician dies weeks after writing final song

Bride sparks feud for banning her niece from her big day

Is Valentine’s Day worth the romantic investment? Here’s what we can learn from economics

"I want answers": Simon Dorante-Day's cunning plan to prove royal connections

How do I handle it if my parent is refusing aged care? 4 things to consider

Brunei Prince's lavish 10 day wedding

4 strategies to keep you from overspending this holiday season

"It was hard to watch": Sean Connery's final days revealed

1 in 4 adults think smacking is necessary to ‘properly raise’ kids. But attitudes are changing

"More bad days than good": Sad new pics of Bruce Willis emerge

He's back! Charles and Camilla's secret "son" drops DNA bombshell

The 4 biggest gift-giving mistakes, according to a consumer psychologist

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